Dems Claim World Will Be Extinct Soon. Trump’s Fault.
Singaling reporting for Singaling press. The present world population of 7.7 billion people is on on the verge of being wiped out according to several Democrat senators and Reps. Led by AOC, they claim the world will end in less than 12 years. And in addition to this, they claim it’s all POTUS Trump’s fault! According to Dem Maxine Waters, Trump is to blame, stating that he’s “Ruined everything” and that it’s “All on him!” Rep AOC wept as she hungrily stuffed a handful of Hostess Ding Dongs into her mouth and said that we are doomed as a planet and Trump’s refusal to approve her New Green Deal is the reason life on Earth will be extinct in less than 12 years. Said AOC, “We are on the verge of totally dying and nothing will be left alive except cockroaches and Keith Richards!” She added that if her New Green Deal is implemented; she could save the world and that she expects a raise from her current salary to “Approx.” 12 billion dollars a month. Said AOC firmly, “It’s a small price to pay to have the world saved from extinction.” Nancy Pelosi agrees and is worried what will become of the LGBTQ and Muslim communities if the world ends. “I am beside myself knowing that these special interest groups could be wiped out. Also, there will be no more Botox sessions for those who need them, and also all the alcohol on Earth will disappear! This is not acceptable!” At that moment, Trump arrived and spoke to the gathered press. Said Trump with conviction, “These people are insane. The world’s not ending! They’re completely nuts. Go home, all of you! It’s over. The press briefing is over. The movie’s over! Ferris Bueller called it correctly back in the 80s. There’s nothing to see here. And AOC, for the love of all that’s holy, just 1 Ding Dong at a time, honey!” With that the press briefing was ended. Reporting for Singaling Press, I’m Singaling..